Beginning of the end?
by Soapiefan
Summary: My take on the crash night, Aaron and Jackson discuss their realtionship. Oneshot. Rated T for swearing. No Smut for once!


'I need a cig' leaning back into his boyfriend he kissed him quickly before leaving the booth and heading out. Looking over his shoulder he saw Marlon slide back in beside Jackson and start chatting. Jackson making funny faces in response to whatever Marlon was saying.

Outside he patted his trousers to find the packet ad his lighter. Looking to his left he saw a very familiar car out of which exited an even more familiar man. Bloody Mickey. A red fog of anger descending Aaron moved over to the other side of the road hiding in a doorway so Mickey wouldn't see him. He'd never been so angry or hated someone so much in his entire life. His blood boiled and his skin crawled just thinking about what that man had done to his dog.

Across the road Jackson came out of the entrance of the pub, looking around for Aaron he saw him across the road hiding in a doorway. Looking in the direction Aaron was looking he sighed seeing Mickey. Running across the road he stood behind Aaron.

'What are you doing?'

'Do you see him? Fucker. Dog murder. I'm gonna fucking kill him' Aaron grunted at him his face red with anger.

'Right, ok then. See ya you fucking nut job' came the unexpected reply as Jackson turned on his heel and walked back across to the pub finally reaching the end of his tether with Aaron. He was not bothering anymore. All Jackson wanted was a normal relationship with a normal bloke but oh no, he'd gone and fallen in love with a total nutter. Well no more, he was getting out of this bloody relationship before he ended up in hospital or worse, dead.

Looking over his shoulder towards Jackson's retreating back, Aaron hadn't expected anything like that. Jackson never cursed. Jackson rarely got angry at anything especially him. Jackson was always the one to pull Aaron back from the edge. Aaron finally realised that he'd pushed Jackson to his limit and now he'd snapped. Jackson wasn't even looking where he was going, he missed being hit by a car by inches.

'Jackson!' Aaron shouted after him still unsure what to do. Mickey was walking away to a straight pub across the road and Jackson was walking towards Bar West. Deciding that he needed Jackson more then he needed to punch Mickey he ran after Jackson.

'Jackson, Jay wait up. Jackson wait!' Aaron shouted across the road as he ran after is boyfriend.

Grabbing Jackson's arm he pulled him to a stop and turned Jackson to face him.

'Get your hand the fuck off my arm.' Jackson said yanking his arm out of Aaron's grip 'don't you get it Aaron, I'm not doing this anymore, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm never first in your eyes, never and I'm not putting up with it anymore. I can't, I'm worth more.'

'Jay, don't say that. You know you mean a lot to me' Aaron replied desperately.

'Oh really, and how the fuck would I know that? Eh? Do you EVER tell me? Do you fuck! You've barely said a nice word to me since we got together. You ruined my birthday. You are a selfish being Aaron and I'm just fucking sick of it. I don't know why I didn't leave sooner, it sure as shit would have been easier. I'm not just some fuck buddy for you, you know. When we got together I wanted a relationship, I thought you did too but what do we do eh? Everything YOU want to do. It's like I'm just here so you don't have to masturbate all the time, you can use me instead. Is that it Aaron, is it. Cos this sure as shit isn't a relationship anymore. I'm not sure it ever has been. I'll never be the person you look for first.' Jackson replied with venom in his voice but pain in his eyes.

He loved Aaron so much but it hurt just as much to know that Aaron didn't feel the same about him. He'd tried to let it go, get on with their relationship with this big fuck off elephant in the room but he couldn't do it anymore, he wanted Aaron to want him not just be with him for a fuck and a fumble which is what it felt like at the minute. What was it one of his friends called it, any port in a storm. His eyes began to tear up so he quickly turned so Aaron wouldn't see and accuse him of trying to emotionally blackmail him.

With that thought in his head he turned to head back into Bar West to say bye to Paddy and Marlon and see if they needed a lift.

Aaron was left staring after his now ex-boyfriends retreating back and he hadn't a clue what to do to fix it, if it could be fixed at all.

'Jackson, please, please come back. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I swear if you let me I'll make it up to you.' Aaron begged as he ran after Jackson.

'Seriously, leave me alone Aaron' Jackson stated baldly desperately trying to keep control of his emotions, he knew he was seconds away from the dam bursting and he needed to get away before that happened. Stalking into the bar he headed over to Marlon and Paddy to say goodbye.

'See ya lads, I'm off. Enjoy the rest of your night' he said in a rush trying to be civil but trying to get away at the same time.

'Oh nooooo, you're not going yet are ya?' Paddy slurred at Jackson. 'Will we see you at home?'

'Eh, no. I'll be at Andy's. See you tomorrow though, Marlon see you around' turning on his heel he barged past Aaron who was standing just behind he and he walked up the stairs and out of Aaron's life.

Aaron turned after him and watched as Jackson left, his heart breaking in his chest. Once Jackson was gone he turned to face Paddy and Marlon his eyes filling with tears. He looked down quickly but not quickly enough for Paddy. He'd noticed and stood up walking towards Aaron before placing his hand on Aaron's shoulder.

'What's up son?' he asked gently.

'We broke up, he says I never put him first.' Aaron croaked tears beginning to fall down his face as he admitted this to the only man he considered a father. 'I don't know what to do. I don't want this to be over but he told me to stay away. What will I do Paddy, tell me what to do!' Aaron begged.

'Aaron, you need to think about what's best for the btoh of you. You know he loves you but if you don't love him back it's not fair to keep him hanging on. Maybe it is best for you two to break up. Sometimes things just run their course.' Paddy replied knowing this was not what Aaron wanted to hear.

'But Paddy, I think I do. I think I love him and I don't know what to do about it. How do I tell him without him thinking I'm only saying it to get him back, cos I really want him back' Aaron's face flared with embarrassment at admitting this to someone, anyone, even if the someone was Paddy.

'Aaron, I know what it's like to love someone who doesn't love you back but if you honestly think you might love him then you need to fight for him. Do you want to fight for him?' Paddy asked pretty sure he already knew the answer.

'Yeah, I do. I really do' Aaron replied quietly, almost too quietly for Paddy to hear over the music in the bar.

'Well you know where he lives don't ya?' Paddy replied squeezing his shoulder to comfort him.

'I do. Ok, I'm off. Sorry lads but I've to go get my boyfriend back. Wish me luck!' Aaron shouted as he turned to leave the bar.

'Luck' shouted a very drunk Marlon a he watched his friends pseudo step-son go running to try to fix his relationship.

Running up the stairs he hoped he got to Jackson before he drove away. Running to where the van was he stopped short seeing Jackson slumped over the wheels obviously crying his heart out. Just seeing that made Aaron think that maybe, just maybe he had a chance to make things right.

Walking slowly towards the van he stood at the drivers door and softly tapped the window causing Jackson to jump with the shock.

Motioning for him to roll down the window Aaron looked into Jackson's soulful brown eyes and knew for certain that whatever happened he had fallen totally in love with the man in front of him and no he just needed to convince Jackson of that fact.

Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand Jackson wound down the window 'What do you want?' he asked his voice hoarse from crying.

'I want you' came the unexpected reply.

'No Aaron, don't do this to me. You just want what you're comfortable with. We don't work. I need someone who loves me as much as I love them and you don't. I realise that now, just took me a while' Jackson said scoffing slightly at that thought. It had taken him six months, six months to realise that Aaron didn't want him the way he wanted Aaron and it broke his heart to admit it.

'Jackson, can I get in? It's cold and we need to talk properly not shouting in the street.' Aaron said reasonably.

Nodding his head Aaron walked around to the passenger side and hopped in.

Turning slowly to Jackson he knew it was now or never.

'Jackosn, I need you to listen to me now ok. I'm sorry for everything that's gone on in the past, I know I do some stupid shit and I know I've hurt you in the past but please don't think that I don't care about you. You mean so much to me and I only realised tonight when you gave out to me and broke up with me that I want you. I want you in the proper sense not just cos I feel safe with you, cos I do, or cos sex with you is amazing even though it is. I want you cos you make me feel normal. You make me feel like I'm worth something, that someone as amazing as you would fight for me just doesn't make sense to me. I'm not worth it BUT' he said raising his voice to stop Jackson from butting in 'you are wrong about me not loving you the same way you love me. I do love you. You make me feel things I've never felt before. I smile when I see you or when your name comes up on my phone, you make me so happy. I know you mightn't believe me but that's my understanding of it. I know the Mickey thing and my anger issues are a big problem but I'm more then willing to do anything you want to fix this. I'll go to anger management or therapy or anything just please, please don't dump me not when I've just realised that I'm in love with you.' Aaron was looking into Jackson's eyes as he said this. Jackson looked down but Aaron lifted his chin to force him to look him in the eye again 'Jackson, did you hear me? I said I love you'

'I heard, I'm just…I'm just computing' Jackson said shakily. He didn't know whether to believe Aaron or not but there was a truth in his eyes that he'd never seen before. It was like Aaron had finally let down his walls just to let Jackson inside. Jackson was wary, what if this was just a stop gap. What if something else just got in their way, he was invested now but what would happen if it was two or three years down the line. Aaron could see the thoughts clouding Jackson's beautiful eyes. Deciding that he'd waited long enough he moved forward and captured Jackson's lips with his own. Kissing him with all the emotion he could Jackson finally realised that Aaron was telling him the truth, the kiss was full of all the emotions Aaron always tried to keep hidden but tonight,, tonight he was putting everything on the line to salvage their relationship, to try to make it work.

They both knew that this may not work out in the long run but at that moment, everything was perfect. Aaron had Jackson back and Jackson had the man he fell in love with.

'Jackson, I really do love you' Aaron admitted looking into his boyfriends eyes.

'I know Aaron, I love you too' came the reply.


End file.
